摇篮曲,TED讲演:被回绝100次后,国际开端对他说Yes,莲花卷

频道:社会万象 日期: 浏览:197

不要惧怕被回绝,回绝并不可怕,可怕的是就此抛弃,再也不敢面临!美籍华人蒋甲先生经过试验,教会人们从被回绝中取得深入的人生感悟。

中英文对照翻译

When I was six years old, I received my gifts. My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. She wanted us to experience receiving gifts but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom, and she bought all of us gifts and养分早餐50例 stackedthem in the corner.

当我6岁的时分,我收到了份礼物。我一年级的教师有一个很棒的主见。她想让咱们在承受礼物的一起还能学习怎样表彰他人。所以她让咱们走到教室前面,她给咱们每个人带了礼物,堆在墙角。

And s吉智新能源he said, "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? If you hear your name called, go and pick up your gift and sit down." What a wonderful idea, right? What could go wrong?

然后她说:“让咱们在这儿相互表彰吧。假如你听到有谁表彰你,就去拿一份礼物然后回座位。”多棒的主见,对吗?能出什么过失呢?

Well, there were 40 of us to start with, and every time I heard someone's name called, I would give out the heartiest cheer. And then there were 20 people left, and 10 people left, and five left ... and three left.

咱们一共有40个孩子,每一次他人被叫到姓名,我都会很快乐的叫好。然后剩余20个人,然后10个人, 5个人……终究剩余了3个人。

And I was one of them. And the compliments stopped. Well, at that moment, I was crying. And the teacher was freaking out. She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?"

而我是其间一个。再也没有表彰了。就在那时,我初步哭。教师也手足无措。她说:“嘿,有没有人乐意表彰一下这些同学?”

"No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down. So behave next year — someone might say something nice about you."

“没有吗?好吧。那你们去拿一份礼物然后回座位吧。下一年要好好体现哦,说不定会有人表彰你。”

Well, as I'm describing this you, you probably know I remember this really well.

你看我记住如此清楚,由于这是我心里永远的痛。

But I don't know who felt worse that day. Was it me or the teacher? She must have realized that she 蜂巢turned a team-building event into a public roast for three six-year-olds. And without the humor. You know, when you see people get roasted on TV, it was funny. There was nothing funny about that day.

但我不知道当天谁的感觉更糟糕,我仍是我的教师?她必定意识到自己把一个团队建造活动变成了3个6岁孩子的为难时刻。并且这种为难一点都欠好笑。电视演出的那些为难时刻,十分好笑。但那天一点都欠好笑。所以那是一个版别的我,我死也不要罗杰疑案受争议的原因再次阅历这种作业——在众目睽睽下被回绝。

So that was one version of me, and I would die to avoid being in that situation again — to get rejected in public again. That's one version. Then fast-forward eight years. Bill Gates came to my hometown — Beijing, China — to speak, and I saw his message. I fell in love with that guy. I thought, wow,

这是一个版别。时刻快进8年。比尔盖茨来到我的家园——我国北京——做演说。我看了他的演说,就被他深深迷住了。

I know wh摇篮曲,TED演说:被回绝100次后,世界初步对他说Yes,莲花卷at I want to do now. That night I wrote a letter to my family telling them: "By age 25, I will build the biggest company in the world, and that company will buy Microsoft."

我想,哇,我找到了人生目标。当天晚上我给家人写了一封信,信上说,“在25岁之前,我要打造一个世界上最大的公司,而这家公司会买下微软。”

I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world — domination, right? And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter. And here it is —You don't have to read this through —This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words. You get the idea.

我向他诚心学到了降服世界的主见,控制世界,对吧。我没骗你们,我真的写了信。便是这封——你没必要看小米平板懂中文,字也写得欠好看,但我划出了一些要点词。你们就理解了。

So ... that was another version of me: one who will conquer the world.

所以……这是另一个版别的我,一个想要降服世界的我。

Well, then two years later, I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States. I jumped on it, because that was where Bill Gates lived, right?

时刻又过了两年,我得到了一个来美国的时机,我抓住了它,由于这可是比尔盖茨的故土啊,对吧?

I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey. Then, fast-forward another 14 years. I was 30. Nope, I didn't build that company. I didn't even start. I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company. And I felt I was stuck; I was stagnant. Why is that?

其时我觉得这会是我创业生计的初步。然后,再快进14年,我三十岁了。我并没有树立那家公司。乃至没有初步。而是成为了一家500强企业里一个普通的商场司理。我感觉我卡住了,停滞不前。为什么呢?

Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter? It's not because he didn't try. It's because every time I had a new idea, every time I wanted to try something new, even at work — I wanted to make a proposal, I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group —

那个写信的14岁孩子去哪了?不是由于他没有测验。而是由于每次我有了新的主见,每次我想测验一些新的东西,乃至在作业的时分--我想提出一个计划,我想在一我国最贵的烟群人面前说话--

I felt there was this constant battle between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. One wanted to conquer the world — make a difference — another was afraid of rejection. And every time that six-year-old won.

我感觉6岁的我和14岁的我之间一向在奋斗。一个想降服世界,改动现况,另一个却惧怕被回绝。可是每次那个6岁的我都赢了。

And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 — if you wa冰激凌nt to be Bill Gates, you've got to start sooner or later, right? When I was an entrepreneur, I was presented with an investment opportunity, and then I was turned down. And that rejection hurt me.

这个惧怕乃至持续到我开了自己的公司。我在30岁的时分树立了我的公司,假如你想成为比尔盖茨,早晚要踏出第一步,对吗?当我初步创业后不久,遇见了一个被出资的时机,可是我终究被回绝了,那次回绝伤害了我。

It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there. But then I thought, hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection? Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that? No way. And this is where it clicked for me. OK, I can build a better company.

严峻到我想当场抛弃。可是我想,嘿,比尔盖茨会在一次出资被拒后就抛弃吗?任何成功的创业人会像那样抛弃吗?当然不。我突然间茅塞顿开。我能创建一个更好的公司。

I can build a better team or better product, but one thing for sure: I've got to be a better leader. I've got to be a better person. I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. I have to put him back in his place. So this is where I went online and looked for help. Google was my friend.

我能树立更好的团队,开发更好的产品,但有一件事是有必要的:我要成为一个更好的领导者,成为一个更好的人。我不能让那个6岁的我持续分配我的日子。我要打败他。所以我上网寻求协助。谷歌是我的朋友。

I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?" I came up with a bunch of psychology articles about where the fear and pain are coming from. Then I came up with a bunch of "rah-藕片的做法rah" inspirational articles about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it." Who doesn't know that?

我查找:“怎样战胜被回绝的惊骇?”跳出了许多心思学文章,关于惊骇和苦楚的来历。然后是一些勉励的文章关于“不要太介意,战胜就好。”废话,地球人都知道好吗。

But why was I still so scared? Then I found this website by luck. It's called rejectiontherapy.com.

但为什么我仍是很惧怕?然后我意外找到了这个网站,叫做 RejectionTherapy.com(被拒治疗法)

"Rejection Therapy" was this game 凯迪invented by this Canadian entrepreneur. His name is Jason Comely. And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, and every day get rejected at something, a摇篮曲,TED演说:被回绝100次后,世界初步对他说Yes,莲花卷nd then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. And I loved that idea.

“被拒治疗法”是加拿大一个创业者创造的游戏,他叫杰森康利。游戏很简单,你出门找回绝,持续30天,每天都自动找人因某些事回绝你,终究,你对被回绝就会感到麻痹了。我太爱这个主见了。

I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this. And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." And I came up 建信人寿with my own rejection ideas, and I made a video blog out of it.

我说:“好吧。我就这么干。我要让自己被回绝100天,并且把情形录制下来。”我要自己幻想出被回绝的留意,还为此创建了视频博客。

And so here's what I did. This is what the blog looked like. Day One ...Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger. So this is where I went to where I was working. I came downstairs and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk. He looked like a security guard.

这便是我做的。这便是那个博客。第一天……向一个生疏人借100美金。所以我来到公司,我走下楼,看见桌子后边坐着一个壮汉。或许是保安吧。

So I just approached him. And I was just walking and that was the longest walk of my life — hair on the back of my neck standing up, I was sweating and my heart was pounding. And I got there and said, "Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?"

所以我挨近他,我走向他,几乎是我人生中最绵长一段路,我觉得脖子后边的汗毛都竖起来了,手心都是汗,心怦怦直跳。我走到他面前,说:“先生你好,我能向你借100美金吗?”

And he looked up, he's like, "No." "Why?"And I just said, "No? I'm sorry." Then I turned around, and I just ran.

他抬起头,说:“不可。 为什么?” 我说:“不可吗?真欠好意思。” 然后我回身就逃了。

I felt so embarrassed. But because I filmed myself — so that night I was watching myself getting rejected, I just saw how scared I was. I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense." I saw dead people.

我感觉十分为难。可是由于我录下了这段阅历,所以那天晚上,我重看了一遍被回绝的进程,我看到了自己有多惧怕。像是《灵异第六感》里的孩子,看见死人相同惧怕。

But then I saw this guy. You know, he wasn't that menacing. He was a chubby, loveable guy, and he even asked me, "Why?" In fact, he invited me to explain myself. And I could've said many things. I could've explained, I could've negotiated. I didn't do any of that. All I did was run.

但我又看了看那个人,他并没有那么可怕。看起来胖乎乎的,很心爱,他乃至还问我,“为什么”。事实上,他给了我解说的时机,我本来能够说许多。我能够解说,能够交涉。但我什么都没做,我只是逃走了。

I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life. Every time I felt the slightest rejection, I would just run as fast as I could. And you know what? The next day, no matter what happens, I'm not going to run. I'll stay engaged.

我觉得,哇,这几乎便是我人生的缩影。每次我遇到一点小小的回绝,我就撒腿就跑。所以我决议了,第二天,不论发生了什么,我都不会逃跑。我会持续交涉。

Day Two: Request a "burger refill."It's when I went to a burger joint, I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said, "Hi, can I get a burger refill?"He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?"

第二天:恳求一个“汉堡续杯”。我来到一家汉堡店,吃完午饭,走向收银员,说:“你好,我能来一个汉堡续杯吗?”他十分疑问,“什么是汉堡续杯?”

I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger." And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man."

我说:“就像饮料续杯啊,只是换成汉堡。”他说:“欠好意思,哥们儿,咱们没有汉堡续杯。”

So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed. I said, "Well, I love your burgers, I love your joint, and if you guys do a burger refill, I will love you guys more."

所以我被回绝了,我本能够逃跑,但我没有。我说:“我超爱你们的汉堡,超爱你们的店,假如你们能做汉堡续杯,我会爱死你们的。”

And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it, and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today." Then I left. And by the way, I don't think they've ever done burger refill.

然后他说:“好吧,我会向司理报告的,今后或许会有这项服务,但抱愧,今日真实没有办法。”然后我走了。趁便说一句,我觉得他们不会推出汉堡续杯服务的。

I think they're still there. But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time was no longer there, just because I stayed engaged — because I didn't run. I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things. Great."

他们的店还没关闭。但第一天那种严重到死的感觉,现已没有了,只是由于我留了来交涉,没有逃跑。我说:“哇,好棒,我现已有所长进了,真的很不错。”

And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts. This is where my life was turned upside down. I went to a Krispy Kreme. It's a doughnut shop in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States. I'm sure they have some here, too.

第三天:索要奥林匹克甜甜圈。我的人生从此初步被推翻。我去了“卡卡圈坊”,一家卖甜甜圈的店,首要散布在美国的东南部。当然这儿应该也有。

And I went in, I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols? Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... " I mean there's no way they could say yes, right? The doughnut maker took me so seriously.

我走进店里,说:“你能为我做一些长得像奥林匹克标志的甜甜圈吗?便是把五个甜甜圈连起来……”按理来说他们不或许容许,对吧?但那个做甜甜圈的特别注重我的要求!

So she put out paper, started jotting down the colors and the rings, and is like, "How can I make this?"摇篮曲,TED演说:被回绝100次后,世界初步对他说Yes,莲花卷 And then 15 minutes later, she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings.

她竟然拿出一张纸,记下色彩和摆放,考虑该怎样制造。15分钟后,她拿着一盒奥运五环甜甜圈出来了。

And I was so touched. I just couldn't 氨茶碱believe it. And that video got over five million views on Youtube. The world couldn't believe that either.

我感动极了,几乎难以置信。这个视频在Youtube上取得了超越5百万的浏览量。看来整个世界也无法信赖。

You know, because of that I was in newspapers, in talk shows, in everything. And I became famous. A lot of people started writing emails to me and saying, "What you're doing is awesome." But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me.

由于这件事,我上了报纸,参与脱口秀,可忙了。我知名了。许多人初步给我写邮件,说:“你做的作业太棒了。”但知名度并不是我想要的。

What I really wanted to do was learn, and to change myself. So I turned the rest of my 100 da李小龙传奇ys of rejection into this playground 王芳— into this research project. I wanted to see what I could learn.

我真实想要的是学习和改动自己。所以我把“被拒100天”剩余的阅历变成了个人游乐场,变成了研讨项目。想看看我能学到什么。

And then I learned a lot of things. I discovered so many secrets. For example, I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," and the magic word is, "why."

我学到了许多作业,我发现了许多隐秘。比方,我发现只需我在遭到回绝后,不溜之大吉,我能够把“不可”变成“行”,诀窍便是问对方“为什么”。

So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand, knocked on the door and said, "Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?"

有一天,我去一个生疏人家,捧着一束花,敲他的门,问:“嘿,我能把这束花种在你家后院吗?”

And he said, "No." But bef摇篮曲,TED演说:被回绝100次后,世界初步对他说Yes,莲花卷ore he could leave I said, "Hey, can I know why?" And he said, 黑龙"Well, I have this dog that would dig up anything I put in the backyard. I don't want to waste your flower.

然后他说:“不可。”在他关门之前,我说:“嘿,你能告诉我为什么吗?”他说:“我有一只狗,它会把后院一切东西都刨出来。我不想糟蹋你的鲜花。

If you wan摇篮曲,TED演说:被回绝100次后,世界初步对他说Yes,莲花卷t to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie. She loves flowers." So that's what I did. I went across and knocked on Connie's door. And she was so happy to see me.

假如你想莳花,你能够到街对面,问问康妮,她超爱花的。”我照做了。我穿过马路,敲开妮家的门。她看到我可高兴了。

And then half an hour later, there was this flower in Connie's backyard. I'm sure it looks better now.

一个半小时后,我的花就种在了康妮的宅院里。我确保,它现在比这要美多了。

But had I left after the in三地灯谜itial rejection, I would've thought, well, it's because the guy didn't trust me, it's because I was crazy, because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good. It was none of those. 假如我在被拒后挑选脱离,我或许会想,或许那个人不信赖我,由于我的要求很张狂,或许由于我穿得欠好,看上去不怎样样。成果都不是。

It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted. And he trusted me enough to offer me areferral, using a sales term. I converted a referral.

只是由于我供给的不是他想要的。他其实很信赖我,还给我引荐了他人,用出售的行话来说,我完成了一次转交处理。

Then one day — and I also learned that I can actually say certain things and maximize my chance to get a yes. So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks, and asked the manager, "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?" He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?"

然后有一天——我又学到一招,我能够经过表述一些确认的作业,添加我的提议被承受的或许性。比方,有一天我走进一家星巴克,问司理,“我能成为星巴克迎宾员吗?”他问:“什么是星巴克迎宾员?”

I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters? You know, those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store, and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically? I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers."

我说:“你知道沃尔玛迎宾员吗?便是那些在你进店前,跟你打招呼,然后盯着你在店里别偷东西的人?我想给星巴克顾客带来沃火柴人联盟尔玛式的体会。”

Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually — Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. And he was like, "Oh" — yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric — and he was like, "I'm not sure." This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure."

我不确认这种体会好欠好,实际上因该必定欠好。然后他说:“哦,”没错,便是他,他叫埃里克,他说:“我不确认。”这便是其时他的表情,“我不确认。”

Then I ask him, "Is that weird?" He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man." But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed. It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor. And he said, "Yeah, you can do this, just don't get too weird."

然后我问他,“这很古怪吗?”他说:“没错,哥们儿,很古怪。”可是在他说完之后,他的整个举动就变了。像是这事儿提出来后他就把置疑全倒洁净了。他说:“好吧,你做吧,但期望你别太古怪了。”

So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter. I said "hi" to every customer that walked in, and gave them holiday cheers. By the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is, don't be a gre和氏璧eter.

所以接下来的一个小时,我成为了星巴克迎宾员。我对每一个进门的顾客说“你好”,祝他们节日快乐。趁便提一句,我不知道你们的职业规划是什么,千万不要当迎宾员。

It was really boring. But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, "Is that weird?" I mentioned the doubt that he was having. And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?", that means I wasn't weird.

真的很无聊。但后来我发现,我之所以能成功,是由于我提到了“这很古怪吗?”我提出了他心里的疑问。正由于我问了“这很古怪吗”,恰恰意味着我不古怪。

That means I was actually thinking just like him, seeing this as a weird thing. And again, and again, I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust. People were more likely to say yes to me.

这意味着我跟他想的相同,也觉得这事儿很古怪。就这样一次又一次,我体会到,假如在我提出自己的要求之前,我能说出对方心里的疑问,我就能赢得他们的信赖。他们也更有或许容许我的要求。

And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ... by asking. You know, I came from four generations of teachers, and my grandma has always told me, "Hey Jia, you can do anything you want, but it'd be great if you became a teacher."

然后我理解了,要想完成人生抱负,只需开口。我家四代都是教师,我的奶奶一向跟我说,“阿甲(我的奶名),你能够做任何你想做的作业,但最好仍是当教师。”

But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't. But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. So I said, "What if I just ask and teach a college class?" I lived in Austin at the time, so I went to University of Texas at Austin and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?" I didn't get anywhere the first couple of times.

但我的抱负是创业,所以我没当教师。可是给人讲课却一向是我的愿望。所以我想:“假如我直接恳求去大学教一堂课呢?”其时我住在奥斯汀,所以我去了德州大学奥斯汀分校,敲教授的门,问“我能够教您的课吗?”初步几回我没有成功。

But because I didn't run — I kept doing it — and on the third try the professor was very impressed. He was like, "No one has done this before." And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson. He said, "Wow, I can use this. Why don't you come back in two months? I'll fit you in my curriculum."

但我没有逃,不断去测验,到了第3次,教授被打动了。他说:“从没有人做过这事。”我来之前就现已准备好幻灯片和课程。他说:“哇,我真的能用上这些。你两个月后过来吧,我把你加到我的课表里。”

And two months later I was teaching a class.This is me — you probably can't see, this is a bad picture. You know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know?

两个月后,我去教了一堂课。这是我——你或许看不清楚,相片拍得欠好。有的时分连光线都回绝你,对吗?

But wow — when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying, because I thought I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking. I used to think I have t吾乃创世神o accomplish all these things — have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach — but no, I just asked, and I could teach.

可是,当我教完那堂课,我是哭着走出来的,由于我发现,我能够完成人生抱负,只需要开口恳求。而本来我认为,要完成抱负,要先到达许多规范——比方成为出色的创业者,或许成为博士才干教学——并不是,我只需开口恳求,我就能教学。

And in that picture, which you can't see, I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world, who change the way we live and the way we think, are the people who were met with initial a摇篮曲,TED演说:被回绝100次后,世界初步对他说Yes,莲花卷nd often violent 路由器怎样装置rejections.

在这张相片里,或许咱们看不到,我征引了马丁路德金的话,为什么?由于我发现那些改动了世界的人,改动了咱们日子方法和思想方法的人,都是那些遭到初步的回绝,乃至暴力回绝的人。

People like Martin Luther King, Jr., like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, or even Jesus Christ. These people did not let rejection define them. They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. And they embraced rejection.

比方马丁路德金,圣雄甘地,尼尔森曼德拉,乃至耶稣基督。这些人没有让回绝界说自己,而是用被回绝后的举动界说了自己。他们拥抱回绝。

And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection, and in my case, rejection was my curse,摇篮曲,TED演说:被回绝100次后,世界初步对他说Yes,莲花卷 was my boogeyman. It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. Then I started embracing it. I turned that into the biggest gift in my life.

要了解回绝,咱们不需要成为这些人,以我为例,回绝曾是我的咒骂,曾是我的梦魔。它困扰了我终身,由于我从前不敢面临它。然后我初步拥抱它。把它转变为我人生中最大的礼物。

I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. I use my blog, I use my talk, I use the book I just published, and I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection.

我初步教他人怎样把回绝变成时机。用我的博客,我的演说,用我刚刚出书的书,我还开展科技,来协助人们战胜被回绝的惊骇。

When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities. Don't run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.Thank you.

当你在人生中遭到回绝,当你面临下一个妨碍,或下一次失利,想想以下这个或许:不要逃跑。假如你拥抱它们,它们也或许成为你的礼物。谢谢。

来历:视频、演说稿均来历于TED官网

声明:该文观念仅代表作者自己,搜狐号系信息发布渠道,搜狐仅供给信息存储空间服务。
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